compensation he said i love you her world came crashing down memories of two decades lay at her feet and her feet were fastened to that moment in which he said the words  and the books screamed and the memories melted and flowed like hot baked lava from a volcano that just wouldn’t come to a rest the smog filled air lay damp on her skin while he moved and arched his body into hers she was a woman in love again but in a body that had endured spite and she pulsated but it was not here and it was not here the

diminuendo of a dying plea love me please the birds sat perched on the listless electric cables outside and she traced her finger along the window pane gathering the dust and dusk of a broken caked day she said bye bye to the children sending flying kisses hoping they could remember she loved them more than her need to flee his world of games people play by that person who she studied for that course she did he sneered at her restlessness and ardent need to learn she wanted to  learn how to play his games but she didn’t know how to she sat fumbling for words she only knew how to be true that is all she knew and she wanted to rip the facade of lying pretence from her twitching urging body and say the truth that she was a woman who built lakes and forests of trees that had long embracing branches that held her close and raised her to the skies when she wanted to see god she was not a game she was not a game she raised her arms to be picked by him and twirled in his arms smiling openly and father said you are my butterfly and she was one too the caterpillar remembered a dream and raptured into a multitude of colors all satin and silk and powdery true she emerged anew

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