I had a dream last night. I can’t remember many of the things that happened but here are some.
We were walking hand in hand down a street and you told me to deliver something to someone. I got to her and she looked at me with blank eyes before telling me she didn’t have what I sought.
In my confusion, I decided to return to you but couldn’t find you anywhere. I had to go again on a long run but this time, the road was more precarious, the earth was shaking and while climbing the stairs to the top I fell more times than I could count. I thought I would break my neck and die which really made me wonder, if you die in your sleep, do you ever truly wake up?
I climbed again and again until I got to the top and delivered to the person you wanted me to. After this, I still could not find you, but I could talk to you and I could feel your presence.
Next was a race. It was a race not between us, it was against another, she was carrying a weight the size of a bag of wool and I was carrying a weight the size of an anvil.
Faster we ran, up the hill and down the hill, I couldn’t feel my feet but I knew I ran until I overtook her and only her shadow hinted that she was still behind. We ran and ran until the road sprouted a big house and she accepted that I was faster than her. She tried to carry what I held but couldn’t lift it off the ground.
Into the house we went, dropped our loads and dined as if the house was ours. It was senseless until I realized the person I delivered the money to owned the house. But the house was in the middle of nowhere and it was suddenly dark. Thunder rumbled outside as a cloth fell away from one of the chairs and I saw a pregnant woman sitting on one of the chairs staring at us. Like clockwork, she started to speak and said that I was supposed to take something back to the same woman I gave something to. I was confused so she was trying to explain before the door started to shake as if someone was trying to knock it down. She told me to be calm and explained to me that he’s the neighbourhood madman and the door would keep him at bay.
The door didn’t seem to be holding on and I was scared, I could also tell that my fellow racer was scared. Suddenly the door flew open, it wasn’t his strength as much as our fear that opened it. He leaped and pounced on me, our bodies pressed together, I could feel his manhood in my belly and I was really terrified. Suddenly, I was dragged into the darkness, my eyes closed in my dream and opened in reality. I could suddenly breathe. The fear was real.
The first thing I did when I woke up was touch my stomach. I could still feel his touch from the dream, I was still afraid even though I knew it was just a dream, why was I afraid? Suddenly I became angry, a few years ago I learnt that I could change my dreams if I so wished and if I tried hard enough, I could penetrate the layers of dreams. I closed my eyes and concentrated, I was determined to go back into the dream and fight, perhaps I wasn’t really awake at this point but only thought I was. I made my way back into the dream and the man was holding the child the lady had given birth to while I was gone. She wasn’t scared and he was peaceful, it was then it occurred to me that he never had any intention of touching me, it was my fear that made the scene into what it was not. If I had kept calm like I was supposed to, I wouldn’t have been so terrified.
Again, I was drawn out of this vision and although the rest is so blurry I cannot remember, I can remember talking to you. We were together, but I could not see you. I tried to touch but could not hold you, but my mind knew you were there, right next to me. I could feel you, smell you, hear you but I couldn’t see you. It was like there was a thin screen between us, like we were sleeping but not sleeping, like somehow we had managed to merge the walls between dreams and were speaking through it. Like there was a barrier, yet there was none, like if I so wished, I could crossover into your own dreams but for that moment we were content to simply talk, content listening to each other, content smelling each other’s scents, content that we were both just there.