The barmaid’s getting a morning shag, from behind, from her occasional boyfriend, husband, technically, maybe, if that fucking bit of paper from Vegas means shit all. She’d never done anything with it, they don’t send emails across, like, do they, the Yanks, so she’s never sure if she could marry again. He’s a squaddie,like, so has a right fit body, abs to fucking die for, but his pricks a bit thin and he always comes a little too soon for her to, you know, come, but he’s fit and she knows she ain’t much of a looker so she’s happy to get a bit of regular anyway, even though the dildo in the fucking underwear drawer keeps her much more satisfied that this, if she’s bein honest. She’s rubbing her clit a shard as she can, but they’re only two minutes in and she can hear him whimpering behind her, gripping her fucking tits with his big soldier manhands, about to go off. Just once to fucking come at the same time as him would be nice, you know. Once, long time ago, he took some Viagra he’d bought in Afghanistan, like he thought it was Viagra, but it just gave him a constant semi for three days, was like fucking a raw, thin, sausage, eww. But he’s fit,and he’s regular, and it’s nice to not have to live with him, you know, and she knows he’s not faithful, but she only is because it’s easy to get labelled a bike in this tiny town, she always wanted to like move somewhere bigger, better, Warwick, Coventry, Birmingham, even fucking Leamington Spa would be better than this, but it’s too expensive, like, and she’s old enuff 2 have missed the  New Labour university for all bullshit, and what can you do when yorr fat, ageing and unqualified? Her brothers always tellin her to do classes, like, go to the college, but she thought “adult education” was for fucking retards, and she’s not retarded, she just dont have exams or nothing. Maybe “adult education” could be like sex stuff, porn training or whatever. Her and the squaddie made a video once, well tried to make a video, but he shot his wad too soon for anyone to wank to, and was all like “my mate’s got this editin software so we could make like four or five shags look like one” and she said it’s the software here we’ve got a problem with, meaning his dick, like, never hard enough, and he said something about it bein good enough for the birds in Thailand and she said you moron, they pretend to like it cause theyre fucking prostitutes, then after that she never let him shag her bareback for six months until hed proved hed been tested and was clean. They were bareback this morning, the squaddies little dick missing her fucking G with every thrust, she could feel his pre-come oozing out, which was nice, she did like the warmth of the shot, always made her at least feel somethin, like, the time with the Viagra made her feel unsexy, like, cause she couldn’t get im off, when normally its so fucking easy. He comes, squeezin her tits and breathin heavy. He pulls his nob out and dribbles come down the back of her leg. Hes taken her loads of places: Vegas, Malaga, Kavos, Ibiza, like,party towns, places shed never be able to afford to go on her fckin barmaid salary. Don’t get tips in the sticks. The squaddies good to her, good for her,she knows that, and she loves him, yeh, she loves him. She is, technically, his wife. Hes got a fit body and a thin cock. He’ll do, like. He’ll do.

…


Scott Manley Hadley blogs at TriumphoftheNow.com and his debut poetry collection, Bad Boy Poet,is available now from some good bookstores.