RIC-J: Who are we talking to? Yab or Yum?

YY: I am both, I am everything, before and after. everything and nothing. The front and back. The full and the empty. The inside and the outside … then the inside, then the outside … for an infinite time.

RIC-J: What’s your favourite sexual position that you have invented?

YY: The next one.

RIC-J: What’s your favourite sexual position that others have invented?

YY: The impossible one.

RIC-J: Have you read the Kamasutra?

YY: No. I wrote it.

RIC-J: And the Bardo-Thodol? Is it a type of alcohol?

YY: Yes. It is the drunkenness of death, of the little death.

RIC-J: What are your views on Shakespeare?

YY: You mean Shakkkkkkkkkespeare? He is the most torrid author that I know (after Houellebecq). Every verse is sensual. Nothing more stimulating than “The dream of a summer night”. One should make love only by declaiming Shakkkkkkkkkkespeare. But, alas, the world is too uneducated.

RIC-J: Apart from yourselves, who is your favourite celebrity couple?

YY: Hermaphrodite.

RIC-J: If you could destroy the world, would you?

YY: I tried. But I did not have enough strength.

RIC-J: Why are you guys always having sex? Doesn’t it get boring?

YY: This is more natural for us than breathing.

RIC-J: If you could kill one philosopher, who would it be?

YY: God.

RIC-J: Red or black?

YY: Mmmmmm. Black (and red in the corner).

RIC-J: Gold or diamond jewellery?

YY: Sapphire.

RIC-J: Do you like bitter lemon in your whisky sour?

YY: Come and taste my fresh bitter lemon, never again you will drink whisky sour. Never. Ever. If you don’t trust me, ask Eva.

RIC-J: In the memory of a Sufi patient, please define life in two words.

YY: Come Baby.