RIC J: We thought we were going to meet you somewhere in afterlife. How did we find ourselves in your library?

Borges: I call bookstore this cellar within us, this great cellar that plunges into our viscera, and unites the heart and the brain. An immense cavity, which anatomists, despite repeated autopsies and dissections, have never observed.

RIC J: Why books and not farming? Do you think vegetables are less important than literature?

Borges: You should try to cultivate books. Some grow better than quick grass. Others grow like bonsai trees. Some live, others die. This is life, this is agriculture.

RIC J: Books are like lovers. You cannot be in love with all of them. Pick three books from your library that you would read out to god.

Borges: Yes, we can like several books at the same time; on my bedside table there are eighteen books right now, I love them all, I don’t want any of them to end. I keep this love until death. Death is when I close the book for the last time, that I bury it in the library.

RIC J: What’s your favourite sausage?

Borges: The one that melts in your mouth, leaving this sauce so tasty that tastes like man.

RIC J: What is the perfect sandwich to eat while reading The Library of Babel?

Borges: Bread, olive oil, oregano, coarse salt, pepper. In the mouth: all the languages of the Mediterranean.

RIC J: What sexual position should be performed for heightening the effects of The Aleph?

Borges: Face to face, one inside the other, deeply embedded, reciting aloud the first words of a sonnet by Michelangelo.

RIC J: Your views on Tantra.

Borges: The only path to happiness, paved with beds in which to make love.

RIC J: Salsa or Tango?

Borges: Tango.

RIC J: Forget books for a moment. You are chilling on a beach in the Maldives after swimming for an hour. You are in a small restaurant like shack. You choose prawns, squid, or crab?

Borges: Squid, but not in my mouth. Ask the fisherman’s wife.

RIC J: Can you read a landscape? Is reading the ocean possible?

Borges: Geography maps are the best books. It is nature that writes them over time.

RIC J: I think Lou Bega is cooler than you. Thoughts?

Borges: I taught Lou Bega everything. Its real name is “Lo(ser) Bega”.

RIC J: What is the one book you wish you hadn’t written?

Borges: That breakup book that I hid under your pillow the day I left.

RIC J: Which writer are you most jealous of?

Borges: Saint John.

RIC J: Kama Sutra or the sex treatise of Philaenis of Samos?

Borges: The first in the morning, the second in the evening. But at noon?

RIC J: In the memory of a Sufi patient, please define life in two words.

Borges: Kiss me.